If you are seeking the help of a marriage therapist, chances are you and your spouse are having trouble with communication. When you are feeling frustrated that your spouse is not listening to you, or they are not really paying attention to what you have to say, it's time to learn how to communicate effectively. Through the help of a therapist, you can learn how to treat each other with more respect, developing ways to listen without judgement. The more you can improve your ability to listen respectfully, the better you and your spouse will be able to live together in harmony.
You Can Agree to Disagree
Harmonious couples don't always agree on everything. In fact, people who are really in love can disagree on many topics. It is how you treat each other when you disagree that is more important than whether you agree in the first place. Listening to each other's viewpoint, and taking the time to consider each opinion is vital to solid communication. As long as you respectfully listen and try to hear the other side, your opinion still matters. Agreeing to disagree on a topic is an excellent way two people can come to terms with the fact that they don't have the same opinion on a given topic.
You Don't Have to Fix Everything
If your spouse comes to you with a problem, you don't have to fix it immediately. Sometimes all that your spouse wants is for you to listen to what is frustrating them without you trying to fix it. When you realize that you are not responsible for fixing every problem, you can take a step back and simply listen to why your spouse is so upset. Remember that it is often very useful to listen, without offering advice or a quick way to fix the situation. Your spouse needs your support, and doesn't always want someone who minimizes their feelings by trying to fix it and move on.
Learn to Listen
Listening with respect takes time and effort. When your spouse comes to you with a concern, or simply wants to talk, it helps to put down any devices you are using and pay attention. While every conversation doesn't have to be deep and meaningful, giving your spouse attention by making eye contact lets them know that you care about what they have to say. Take the time to stop what you are doing, and you will be able to communicate more effectively with your spouse.