Maybe you voted for Donald Trump and your spouse voted for Hillary (or vice versa), and ever since, you can't seem to have a civilized conversation at the dinner table, on the sofa, in the car, or when you should be snuggling affectionately at night. Don't allow politics to come between you any longer, because your relationship is too important. Unfortunately, you're not alone in your political discord, and for many other couples just like the two of you, therapy is saving the day.
Set Immediate Goals as a Couple
While you can agree to disagree on politics, it's vital that you both want the same thing for the relationship and that you work toward it daily. Discuss the goals you have for yourselves individually and as a couple, then actively work towards achieving them. Especially when it comes to the hot topics that instigate arguments, you have to rise above, together, and focus on more important and personal subjects.
You may need to set replacement activities, too, if you frequently talk about politics, even when you're out with friends. Replace what seems to be cultivating negativity with something more positive. Agree to not talk Trump, opting for mutually enjoyable conversations instead, such as those about your careers, community, self-improvement, church, or charities. Particularly if the conversations yield productive results, you'll both feel better about yourselves and each other.
Work with the Counselor's Recommendations
Couples counselors have a number of helpful methods to bring peace to your relationship. Specifically for those constantly arguing over political matters, the Gottman Method, which works to improve the respect and affection a couple has for each other, could prove useful. Emotionally focused therapy, too, might be employed, for its benefits in changing how the two of you interact during conflict.
Imago therapy should also be considered, as it helps couples to relate to each other, even those with fiercely held political views. Imago therapy also emphasizes the spiritual aspect of couples, which is something nearly anyone in today's unpredictable, often shocking, and sometimes depressing society can benefit from. News can be antagonizing to the psyche all by itself; however, when a couple is at odds over it all the time, they lose the sense of security they provide each other, which is really kind of scary.
Make Politics Off-Limits Completely, at Least for Now
If your couples counselor gives you homework, such as practicing how to enhance intimacy to strengthen the bond between you or working on techniques for improved communication, make that the priority in the household, putting politics (and whatever else you may argue over) on the back burner. To succeed at counseling, it's necessary to put that effort ahead of your own personal interests, and if you're constantly at each other's throats, that means you have a lot of work to do. For now, there's really no place for political discourse in your home.
Put the Outside World in Its Place, As a Couple
With so much volatility in the press, on social media, and in every cafe across the nation, you need "couple space," far away from the political arguments going on. Focus on each other and what originally brought you together rather than on the issues currently breaking you apart. While government, immigration, economy, and other aspects of what's in the news are vital to everyone, your priorities as a couple must be each other, always.
Debating is, to a certain extent, a normal part of any relationship, but when it gets to the point where tempers flare and accusations fly, you probably need an intervention. Let a couples counselor help you and your partner through the political discord that's come between you, so you can resume a normal, healthy, and satisfying relationship, preferably before the campaigns of 2020 kick off.
Contact businesses like The Counseling Group PL for more information about couples counseling.
